definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
