The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
no you cant smoke seaweed
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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