dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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