So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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