it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
