I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
