The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
