wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
