I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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