Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
