people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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