dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
