We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
