He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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