Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
