I CAN MOONWALK!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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