She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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