its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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