I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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