porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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