Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
