Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
