If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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