i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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