apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
