My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
