her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
