What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
