Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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