she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
They have beer where we have blood.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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