You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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