I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
