I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
