So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
