you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
