I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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