Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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