My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize