The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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