i'm signing you up for texting rehab
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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