Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
