I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
