Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
