I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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