There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
