I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Randomize
