I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize
