What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
