The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
