Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
