her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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