What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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