u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i will never coherently bang her
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
