pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
